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At war with Murphy’s Law
Imagine being a 38-year-old man, working and slaving away – doing all you can to make it in the world. You pay your bills the best you can. You make sacrifices on whether or not to eat today or let a bill or service go. You get by, by the skin of your teeth… but you get by.
Then comes Murphy’s Law.
If you do not know what Murphy’s Law is, the concept is simple. Anything that CAN go wrong WILL go wrong.
Adding insult to injury, you can never seem to get off work on time because your relief, no matter who it is that day, is always late. You bite your tongue. It is what it is. You’ve barked up that tree so many times that your neighborhood dog begins to understand you. You endure because it is the end of your workweek, and you finally have the next day off.
Relieved, finally, you smoke your after-shift cigarette. That sweet nicotine is just what the doctor ordered. It isn’t like the other cigarettes you’ve smoked during your shift. No, this one is a “freedom cigarette”. The one that says, “Your job is done. You are free.”
After spending those 5 minutes in nicotine nirvana, it is time to head home. You get in your car, performing acrobatics through the back seat. You must do this because your door handle has snapped completely off. The frigid temperature and age of the vehicle have left the plastic door openers as fragile as your favorite china plate. Thrice your vehicle has fallen victim to unauthorized amputation.
thrice amputated
You remember you are low on gas. You thought about it last night on your way into work but decided that you’d rather get your shift started and deal with it later. Choices made and unforeseen consequences follow.
Cranking the vehicle, it shakes like an old man. It’s cold, you’re shaking too – why should the car be immune to Jack Frost’s plight? After your grandfather of a vehicle catches its rhythm, it is time to quench its thirst. You make your way to the nearest gas station.
Upon arrival, you decide to leave the car running. The heater does not get that warm due to the fact you were lazy and never replaced the thermostat. You simply took it out when your car was regurgitating Mtn. Dew. *Click* – the door shuts. No big deal, you think, you will just perform more acrobatics to get back in.
The pump turns on after you pre-pay for your fuel, allowing you to provide for your baby as a mother provides a teat for her young. The car suckles on every drop until the pump stops. The ‘bottle’ is now empty and it’s time to go home and go to bed.
You reach for the only good handle you have. The back door is locked. The other doors are locked and have no handles. The car is running with no way to gain entry.
Embarrassed, you walk back into the gas station where the attendant blindly gives the “welcome to” dialog. She notices it is you and can tell by the expression on your face that something is amiss.
“Can I borrow a screwdriver?” you ask.
She obliges and hands you the tools for your salvation.
Like the mighty Apollo, you strut to your iron chariot, ready to take on the challenge of subduing the curse at play. Unlike the mighty Apollo, the Sun is not your ally and is scarce, allowing nothing but overcast and chill to exist. Persephone is out of town right now and you are no Hercules. 20 minutes later, however, you are victorious. Victorious only in this particular battle, for you know Murphy’s Law is persistent, ageless, and will eventually win all wars.
Feeling exhausted, you finally arrive at your sanctuary. You journal the experience before retiring for the day. You know you will need the rest because another battle is surely coming… and it will be relentless as always.
