Dale Earnhardt Jr. says his father’s death still 'too personal' to participate in 10-year anniversary tributes

Dale Earnhardt Jr. says he doesn’t plan to participate in any tributes surrounding the 10-year anniversary of his father’s death. . Sam Cranston NASCAR Illustrated

CONCORD, N.C. – Dale Earnhardt Jr. plans to follow the tributes and media coverage surrounding the 10th anniversary of his father’s death, but he does not want to participate in them. In an appearance during the Sprint Media Tour at Hendrick Motorsports on Wednesday, Earnhardt Jr. expected questions about Feb. 18, 2001, the day his father – a seven-time Cup champion and one of the sport’s icons – died from injuries suffered in a crash on the last lap of the Daytona 500. Earnhardt Jr. finished second that day while his Dale Earnhardt Inc. teammate Michael Waltrip won that race. At the time of the crash, the elder Earnhardt was in third, trying to keep the pack behind him to put himself in position for the best possible finish and to keep others from catching Waltrip and Earnhardt Jr. “All the details are pretty fresh [in my mind],” Earnhardt Jr. said. “It’s not like in the movies where things are pretty blurry. … It’s just too personal for me and there’s certain depths of it that I’m not comfortable discussing, and I don’t want to have out in the media or the Internet. “Information is so readily available these days, and it’s just something that doesn’t need to be out there. I’m just not comfortable with it. I want to honor him and respect him and make him happy and please his fans but I don’t want to drag on about details of the past.” Earnhardt Jr. also doesn’t mind the tributes to his father, but he’s hesitant to participate in any of the anniversary events in which he might have to talk about his father and that dreadful day. “I know how I feel in my heart,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “I don’t feel a real need to discuss it a lot. “I want to do what’s right. I want to honor him. But I don’t need to do it in front of a bunch of people. He carries his own weight. He doesn’t need me to be part of the celebration. … I’d rather watch it, stand on the sideline. It’s [more fun] for me to listen to other people reflect, hearing other people’s stories, how he’s important to you.” Just 26 years old at the time of his father’s death, Earnhardt Jr. admitted he didn’t want to race the following week at North Carolina Speedway in Rockingham. “After that happened, I wanted to never see another race track or another race car again,” he said. “We went to Rockingham and I went because I felt responsible to go. I didn’t want to be there. “After about a week, I got to thinking, ‘What else am I going to do? My dad gave me this opportunity and I would be a fool to squander it.’” In that Rockingham race, Earnhardt Jr. crashed on the first lap in an eerily similar angle to that of his dad’s fatal crash. “I could have cared less that I crashed,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “It was embarrassing because it was in front of a television audience and all the fanfare. But I really had no interest in being there.” Earnhardt Jr. said he will be able to separate the need to focus on his job – he has gone winless and missed the Chase For The Sprint Cup the past two years – amid the 10-year anniversary of his father’s death. “I don’t mind answering the questions,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “I just don’t want to in any way overshadow what my father meant to the sport and this opportunity for people to recognize him. “It’s a great opportunity for him to be recognized and remembered. I want him to get everything he deserves.” Will he watch any of the TV specials or read about his father? “I’ve seen almost every picture I can see,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “I’ve seen about all [the videos] one could see. Nothing that I would watch would be new to me. “You could tell the story a million ways and I’ve heard it before. … I wouldn’t avoid it, it just wouldn’t be on my radar.” While Earnhardt Jr. isn’t participating in any of the 10-year anniversary events, Waltrip wrote a book that recounts personal details of the day. “Michael has his way of doing things, and I love Michael and respect him,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “However he chooses to relay his feelings is up to him entirely.” In talking about memories of his father, Earnhardt Jr. sounded like a typical rebellious kid. He spoke about eating peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches in the hotel instead of going out for dinner with all the other racers – which angered his father, who thought Earnhardt Jr. was just being lazy. “I really don’t think about [the crash] that much,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “Every time I think about my dad, it’s about something fun or something funny or when he was getting on me or picking on me or when I did something he didn’t like that I thought was funny. “Those are always good memories. I did a lot of things that pissed him off that I thought were hilarious, and especially [from] the fact that he got upset.” Earnhardt Jr. said he doesn’t think about why the accident happened or what life would be like if his father was still around. “I don’t really think about what life would be like if he was still here,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “I can’t even begin to have the faintest idea of what it would be like if he was still here, how things would be, what the sport would be like, what our lives would be like. I think that there are a lot of things that I do, and have done in the past 10 years, that I think would have made him proud. I’m 100 percent certain that he would be proud of my sister, what she’s accomplished and what she’s achieved [as general manager of JR Motorsports].” Even as Feb. 18 approaches each year, Earnhardt Jr. doesn’t get any more emotional when thinking about his father. “That day will always be a big damn deal to me, but it’s not in my subconscious so much that I realize it’s two days away,” Earnhardt Jr. said.