Horoscopes for April 4, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Don’t know why you’d want to celebrate getting old (which you are), but it’s your choice. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Today is the day that you have to stand up for yourself. Make things happen. Of course loosing the remote helped your cause. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Tangible evidence exists that suggests that you should have taken the blue pill. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Grab the nearest securely anchored item and hold on. It’s going to be a rough day. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Today is the day when you learn to zag instead of zigging. I know we have always been a fan of zigging, but today you’ll have to step outside of your comfort zone. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Walk away from confrontation today. We know that is what you always do, we just wanted to reiterate this with you. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You can’t do everything that you want to do. Well, today will be a little different. You won’t be able to do anything… at all. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Thursday. Leo (July 23 – August 22) By the way, you left the car windows down last night and the kitties left you a little surprise. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) When you feel like breaking down and crying, do it. Who gives a crap about random strangers pointing and laughing. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You have to let the past go. Nothing can be gained by dwelling on your glorious little league career. Even if it was the biggest moment of your life of 40 years. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Go for the gold. We will refrain from telling the authorities your whereabouts for 15 minutes. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) you should go see a doctor about that thing you have been hiding. It’s not going away on it’s own.]]]]> ]]>