Horoscopes for August 11, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!  Wooptie Doo! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Beware! Black cat are lurking around every corner, just hoping to get the chance to cross your path. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Lolly pops and sunbeams shall both be yours today. We have no idea how either one will help pay the bill, but oh well. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Fear is your friend today. We usually frown on fear, but there is a really BIG guy calling for you in the parking lot. We think you should sneak out the back. Make sure you take your running shoes with you today. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Make sure to look in both directions when crossing the road. Actually, look twice. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Keep up the good work and you are sure to get that promotion. Unless, of course, somebody finds out that Bob, from the mail, room has been doing all of your work. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Join in the fun with your friends! They are beginning to think that you have forgotten how to have fun. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Keep your eyes on the prize. Don’t let anyone dissuade you from your ultimate goal. People may actually stop trying to crush your dreams if you weren’t trying to tear down a brick wall with your head, but to each his own. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Jump up and down and throw a fit until you get your way. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Quitting will not be allowed today. You will have to finish what you start. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Many people will be amused by your actions today.  This is no way a sign that you should become a comedian. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Have fun trying to explain what happened to your pants. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Make the most of a bad situation. Spread the joy around to others.]]]]> ]]>