Horoscopes for August 15, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!  You think you are unique and special. Well, join the crowd. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Figure out how to program the time on your dvd player already. Every time it blinks, it brinks those around you one step closer to a seizure. Do you really want that on your conscious? Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Come on! Did you think that would work? Back to the drawing board just like Tom on those old Tom and Jerry cartoons. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Time to grow up and act like an adult. It isn’t like your mother hasn’t been telling you this for the past 35 years or so. We just figured that the extra input would help push you in the right direction. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Count your lucky stars. That’s bad, cause you only have to use one hand. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You think that the fish of life will magically just jump into your net. That is not the case, you may have to go hand-grabbing. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Tempt the laws of science today. How? We have no clue. We can’t go through life holding your hand for every little step of the way. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) An old man will approach you today. Be kind to him. He’s isn’t who he appears to be. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Find the silver lining in the dark clouds. The clouds will be many and the linings few. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You think you know so much. You will realize today that you actually don’t know Jack. But he knows you, and that is a problem. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Keep your head held high. Yes, everyone knows what you did. But, they don’t have to know that you know, ya know? Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Go, quickly, and save yourself from the onslaught of questions. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) There will be many facets to your days. Some will shine brightly, others will suck like a black hole.]]]]> ]]>