Horoscopes for August 20, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!  Shalom! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Great things will come your way and when they realize it’s you, they’ll go away.  Wear camouflage or a disguise to fool them. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) There is absolutely no excuse for us not having a horoscope for you, but that’s the case.  It’s kind of embarrassing. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Today will bring you much confusion.  Luckily, it’s a feeling you’re used to. Aries (March 21 – April 19) You will need to run in the afternoon so you should wear some really comfortable shoes. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Get the board games out and spend the day having some fun. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Your inactivity level will go through the roof today!  YAY! Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Your dreams will not come true today unless you did lots of prep work yesterday, but you didn’t so, forget about it. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Do not, we repeat… DO NOT touch anything that is silver today.   This is the one day in your life that silver can cause you great damage.   You were visited by a lycan last night and it breathed on you.  That is the cause of the condition you are suffering from. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You are thinking about doing something really risky.  We support your decision! Libra (September 23 – October 22) Getting back up on the horse actually requires having a horse and yours ran off. Sucks to be you! Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) There are new and wonderful treatments for the condition you suffer from.  They’re expensive.. but they’re available!!! Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) The way we see it, you have two choices.  You can go out tonight and have some fun or stay home and be your consistently boring self.  Live a little, why don’t ya?]]]]> ]]>