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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for December 20, 2011




It’s your birthday: You will close in on the person of your dreams.  Just then they’ll hit you in the face with a cream pie and then slap you with a restraining order! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) When you figure out what an accomplishment is, you will have had your first. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) We hope that you enjoyed Monday. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Blue… it is the color of your Christmas balls and the color of your feelings at this time of year.  Get used to it if you haven’t already! Aries (March 21 – April 19) Somewhere in time a trooper will stop you while you run to the hills.  When they apprehend you they will throw you into one of the world’s most terrifying torture devices: The Iron Maiden!  Oh… wait…  nevermind.  That was just a dream about Eddie.  Your day will be pretty cool with the exception of the ticket you’re gonna get! Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Some days are Grrrrreat, but you are out of pain-killers and today is one of those Snap, Crackle and Pop days!  Time to get that prescription renewed! Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Pop the pimple on your forehead.  Usually we’re more subtle, but today is our first day back from vacation and we’re not happy about it! Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Your victory over the laundry was short lived.  You have to put on clothes today! Leo (July 23 – August 22) Try to let people understand that you are a little behind the times.  Wear your leg warmers when you go to the store. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Raise your eyebrows when you talk to folks today.  It will make them wonder what exciting news that you have when, in reality, it’s just the same old boring stuff happening! Libra (September 23 – October 22) You will become an overnight sensation when your YouTube video goes viral!  And you didn’t know you had a YouTube video! Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) The only culture that you have is the bacteria living between your toes. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Just in case you decide that today is the day you will venture out of the house, you should know about the large black dog waiting for you outside.  He is really friendly.  Though he may look a little intimidating, he only wants to play with you.  Beware his mouth.  He drools!]]]]> ]]>

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