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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for December 7, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!!!  You have two choices in front of you.  Celebrate or Mourn.  You can celebrate the fact that you made it through another year or mourn the fact that you just got another year older.  The fact is that most people celebrate, but you aren’t most people.  Do what’s right.  Celebrate… age ain’t nothing but a number unless you let it be something else. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Flinging your used Kleenex at folks is not considered to be good behavior.  Stop it already. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Spying food in the break room is not an invitation to lunch.  Someone took great care in making that sandwich.  Don’t be a food thief. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) All is not right with the world.  You are having a good day today. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Gargling with salt water will ease the pain in your throat, but drinking tequila will ease all the other pains in your body. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) The bottom has been reached.  It’s all up from here! Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Jam your fingers in your ears and scream to the top of your lungs so you can’t hear all of the crazy things that people will say to you today.  Things like “Hey!  It’s a beautiful day.  Don’t you love winter?” Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Krispy Kreme is thinking about re-naming their donuts after you because you so resemble them:  Round, tasty, covered in sugar but somehow hollow inside! Leo (July 23 – August 22) Beware the Ides of March.  December, however, will be a pretty good month. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You will pay a tremendous cost when you shut everyone out of your life.  You’ll drunk-dial a great many of your exes and ask what you did that was so wrong. Libra (September 23 – October 22) The weight of the world is on the other side of the scale.  Jump off! Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You’re like the town in the Batman movie.  You could use an enema. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) A shrine has been built in honor of your good deeds.  Celebrate this day.]]]]> ]]>

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