Horoscopes for February 10, 2011

If today is your birthday: If you’re not a freaking tard, you will prevail. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Don’t you love that wonderful feeling of accomplishment? Oh, sorry, you’ve never felt it. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Enjoy the weekend, Monday has big plans for you. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Blue is definitely your color. Hold your breath and lets see how it looks on you. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Snuggle in and read a good book. There will be way too many idiots braving the roads today.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You are a poor cheerio trapped with a bunch of fruit loops. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) See, I told you unicorns are real! oh, wait, that’s just a pimple. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Victory is yours! You will get the correct end of the trash bag on the first try. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Having scurvy does not make you a pirate. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You should do the “quotes” gesture in the air whenever you talk today. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You danced like no one was watching. We saw you and filmed it. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Support bacteria it is the only culture some people have. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Just a little info for future reference: Breathe right strips on a dog’s nose is not a good idea.]]]]> ]]>