Horoscopes for February 11, 2011

If today is your birthday: You will feel like you are mister potato head today. And you are missing a few parts. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) You will wish you photographic memory had film today. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) If things in your life seem reasonable, it’s time for more medication. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Love means nothing to a tennis player. Ponder this for deeper meaning. Aries (March 21 – April 19) The problems in your life are many and hard to pronounce.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You will have to fire the person who keeps you out of trouble today. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) We don’t know what makes you different, but it works really well. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Google earth is taking your picture right now. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You will be stuck between a rock and a hard place. Great parking! Libra (September 23 – October 22) You will discover what the other 98% of 2% milk is. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You will have a blissfully ignorant day! Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You will fight the twinkie, but the twinkie will win.]]]]> ]]>