If today is your birthday: Everything is beginning to click. Your knees and elbows mainly.Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)If you only remember one thing today, remember this.Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)Color outside the lines.Pisces (February 19 – March 20)This horoscope made of 100% recycled material.Aries (March 21 – April 19)Get out of bed and do something. That way you can justify a nap later. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)In your search for wisdom, we suggest looking in the dictionary under ‘W’.Gemini (May 21 – June 20)You will have a terrible accident involving a mix up between shampoo and Nair.Cancer (June 21 – July 22)That’s just not normal.Leo (July 23 – August 22)Sympathetic aliens will take you to their planet and make you the Ruler of Cream Cheese. You lucky devil you!Virgo (August 23 – September 22)Tag! You’re it!Libra (September 23 – October 22)Walk like an Egyptian.Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)Gimme an H! Gimme an A! Gimme a… Wait, what was I spelling?Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)If you were any farther behind, you could kick yourself.]]]]> ]]>See a typo? Report it here.