Horoscopes for February 7, 2011

If today is your birthday: The important question of the day is: If you could fly, who would you poop on first. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) If you don’t have something intelligent to say, keep quiet. Well, enjoy your day of silence. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) New science reveals the exact center of the universe. Sorry, its not you. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Bronchitis is not a type of dinosaur. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Be careful when giving someone a piece of your mind. Make sure you have enough to spare. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Don’t be so open-minded that your brain falls out. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Just a little warning, strawberry shampoo does not taste like strawberries. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Your life used to be so different, then everything changed. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Today, you will find out what Willis was talking about. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) If you mate a Labrador Retriever and a Curly Coated Retriever, you will get a scientists best friend. A Lab Coat Retriever. It’s valuable knowledge we thought you needed clogging up your brain. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You will be really down to earth today. Gravity ensures it. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Writing “spam” on your sister will not make her end up at a different house. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) No, I don’t think you can get into trouble drinking juice and riding your tricycle. But, you really should put your helmet back on.]]]]> ]]>