Horoscopes for February 9, 2011

If today is your birthday: Are you sure you want to wear that? If zombies attack, you will have to wear it forever. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Update your facebook picture. If you go and do something dumb, that will be the picture that makes it on the news. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Have you ever wondered why there are no signs for women at work? Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Your gift horse will be facing the wrong way. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Everything happens for a reason.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) To err is human. To err and blame someone else shows managerial potential. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You should be thinking up new excuses to explain your stupidity. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) When somebody tells you to take their advice you really should. They are probably speaking from experience. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Dragons are plotting revenge today. Wear flame retardant clothes. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Are you sure that the bug you flushed actually went all the way down? Libra (September 23 – October 22) Our menu options have changed. If you would like a horoscope, please press 1. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) The world needs a hero. Go grab your tights and cape. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Opportunity knocked, but you slept right through.]]]]> ]]>