Horoscopes for January 12, 2012

If today is your birthday… There’s no horoscope for you today. The rats stole it, and no, that’s not just some random excuse for our laziness! The rats ARE real! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Other people’s stupidity is on the rise. You should wear two pairs of big girl panties today. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) And you thought Monday was bad! Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You get better looking each day, you should stay inside until tomorrow… or next week. Aries (March 21 – April 19) The eye of the tiger possesses you. Unfortunately so does the smell of the jungle. Avoid intimate encounters. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Things have been going along swimmingly for you lately. Someone is out to pop your floaties. Beware. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Today is your day to shout to the world, “It’s your money and I need it now!” Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Someone is trying to get your goat. Don’t take the bait. Leave your goat at home. Leo (July 23 – August 22) People will randomly come up to you today and ask you if you read your horoscope on Vicksburg Daily News. Aren’t you glad you did? Virgo (August 23 – September 22) If you forgot your umbrella today, it will rain. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Don’t drag your feet, it’s bad for your ankles. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You will be paid for your hard work and discover what the dryer was clinging at the same time. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Just show up and success is yours. Your competition is just that incompetent.]]]]> ]]>