Horoscopes for January 19, 2011

If today is your birthday: An intriguing stranger will catch your eye and keep you captivated for hours. Then your friends will find you and pull you away from the mirror. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Squirrels are secretly plotting to steal your lunch. Eat inside today. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Storm clouds are brewing. No need for shades today. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Spend the day pretending your co-workers are Rock em’ Sock em’ robots. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Don’t give into your animal urges. You won’t have bail money until Friday. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Take a deep breath and relax in the knowledge that you are halfway there. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You will coast through the day. You should have stopped at the store last night for gas. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) You will discover just how sharp your child’s science fair project is this morning… on your bare feet. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Repeat of yesterday. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You can’t shake the feeling that naked chickens are following you. Libra (September 23 – October 22) A business venture that you have been contemplating will suddenly become clear. Your new glasses look great, by the way. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You will get trapped by the slowest driver ever on your way home. Make sure you potty before you leave work. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) What goes up will probably come down on the hood of your freshly washed car.]]]]> ]]>