Horoscopes for January 26, 2011

If today is your birthday: Beans, beans, so good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you… Well, you already figured that part out. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Yesterday is just a memory. A bad, bad memory. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Today is a great day to start a new hobby. We suggest playing the jugs. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You can do whatever you want to do today. You are invisible. No, we are not joking. Aries (March 21 – April 19) You can’t escape the feeling that you are forgetting something. You’re right.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Beware of all the idiots that think they are invisible. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Still killing you, isn’t it? Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Today, you will jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Stand by your man. If you stand on him, he may get mad. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Duck! Libra (September 23 – October 22) You’re walking on sunshine. Don’t it feel good? Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You’ll get that check you’ve been waiting on. Too bad the dog will get to it first. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Embrace your enemies today. No, not by the throat.]]]]> ]]>