Horoscopes for January 28, 2011

If today is your birthday: Beware of strays today. Not just animals either. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) You will be struck by a spark of creativity. Make sure it doesn’t catch fire. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) All that glitters is that tiny piece of glass in your foot. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Green is your color! Too bad it all goes to the bill collectors. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Money is tight and times are hard. Time to use your credit card. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Today is the day that you finally decide to speak your mind. Your mouth will move but nothing will come out. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) The chain of command will come into play today. Beware, it stings when it hits you. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Do not powerthink. You could end up in the ER. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Do not play Frogger in real life. You only have one life. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Your life is like a box of chocolates. Problem is the candy was made the same year as that movie. Libra (September 23 – October 22) If life gives you melons, you are probably dyslexic. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) That thing on your face is not a pimple. See a dermatologist. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) That ringing in your ears is not tinnitus, it is aphids.]]]]> ]]>