Horoscopes for January 28, 2011

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If today is your birthday: Beware of strays today. Not just animals either.Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)You will be struck by a spark of creativity. Make sure it doesn’t catch fire.Aquarius (January 21 – February 18)All that glitters is that tiny piece of glass in your foot.Pisces (February 19 – March 20)Green is your color! Too bad it all goes to the bill collectors.Aries (March 21 – April 19)Money is tight and times are hard. Time to use your credit card.Taurus (April 20 – May 20)Today is the day that you finally decide to speak your mind. Your mouth will move but nothing will come out.Gemini (May 21 – June 20)The chain of command will come into play today. Beware, it stings when it hits you.Cancer (June 21 – July 22)Do not powerthink. You could end up in the ER.Leo (July 23 – August 22)Do not play Frogger in real life. You only have one life.Virgo (August 23 – September 22)Your life is like a box of chocolates. Problem is the candy was made the same year as that movie.Libra (September 23 – October 22)If life gives you melons, you are probably dyslexic.Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)That thing on your face is not a pimple. See a dermatologist.Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)That ringing in your ears is not tinnitus, it is aphids.]]]]> ]]>