Just Plain Fun
Horoscopes for July 19, 2011
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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Try not to dwell on the negative. Today will positively rule if you can keep that rule in hand. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) When the road curves around into complete darkness, don’t be hardheaded, turn on your flashlight. We know this is a simple gesture, but it will prove that you once again forgot the batteries. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Before you start your day, breathe deeply, and count to 10. When you feel stressed, repeat. Bet you can reach a million today! Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Reading is not your enemy. You should have learned that after you “shampooed” your hair with Nair the one time. Aries (March 21 – April 19) It’s a good thing that your brain is locked safely in your skull. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Think of today as a trial run for the rest of your life. If you fail today, such is your destiny for the rest of your life. No pressure. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Nevermind the naysayers. You can be invisible if your want to. Actually, we are pulling for your success. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Gambling is not one of the things that you are good at. But then again, getting out of bed these days is a gamble. So, yeah, have fun. Leo (July 23 – August 22) One the strike of noon, you will be overcome by the feeling that people are watching you. Don’t stand in the line of the buffet and eat. It’s just wrong. Of course people are going to stare. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Make every minute count for something today. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Did you hear the one about the couple that walked into a bar? You, unfortunately, will figure out the punchline soon enough. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Have fun trying to explain your actions. p.s. They all know your “tell” when you lie. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Just when you think you can enjoy a nice Calgon evening, you will be the center of an epic battle between what is good and what is right. So much for turning in early.]]]]> ]]>
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