Just Plain Fun
Horoscopes for June 21, 2011
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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! You will hardly notice that today is your special day, you will be so busy. Make sure you wish yourself a happy birthday when you pass yourself in the hall. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Yearning for yesterday will only make you resent today more. Be happy with what you have and embrace your life. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) There are few things in life you can actually change. Your socks are on of them. Go ahead, give it a try. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Don’t be so down on yourself. Anyone could have mistaken your father in law’s hair piece for a kitty and petted it. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Turn that frown up side down! Or you could turn it sideways. People will point and whisper, but it’s not a frown, so that’s a start. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) A little man in a blue blazer will walk up to you and kick you in the shin. Maybe he can read your mind. Oh! This is horrible! Go straight to the sports store and buy shin guards. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Pretend that you are living your ideal life. Go pick some nice summery flowers. We are sure they will dress up the interior of your cardboard box/home sweet home. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Join a new club. We signed you up for an introductory meeting of the Royal Order of the Noble Turkey Butt. Hope you have fun! Leo (July 23 – August 22) Don’t allow yourself to be outsmarted… Nevermind. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) In times of distress, the octopus can squirt ink several feet. You can try taping ink pens to your hiney, but it probably won’t have the same effect. If you squeeze too hard, it could have a completely different effect. Better stick to just running away. Libra (September 23 – October 22) When you prepare to go out into the world today, prepare for battle. Nothing will go your way. You will be like a little salmon swimming against the current. And you know what happens to salmon when they finally reach their destination. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Wear an eye patch and talk like a pirate. People may think it is funny, but when you show them your peg leg, they will finally take your dedication seriously. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Go ahead. Sit up all night watching kitties on the internet. You can put off your to-do list for just a little while longer. We are sure that “Pick up Hammer pants from the cleaners” can wait just one more day.]]]]> ]]>
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