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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for June 30, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!It is perfectly alright to sit around on your chunky bottom today. That isn’t any different from any other day, but nobody will complain today. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) When you feel stressed out, yodel. It has a calming affect on everyone around. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) You need to have your own space. Pitch a tent in the back yard. Defend it from invasion by neighborhood kids. Resist the urge to allow girls, they do, in fact, have cooties. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Have you heard? Just making sure everyone knows. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Try not to think about the horrors that await you when you get home this evening. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You will have a sudden and violent aversion to mayonnaise. You will scream like an 8 year old girl with a spider in her hair. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Revenge is a dish best served cold. Sit in the fridge for a few hours, that should be long enough. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Remember that renewed hope in humanity? Today will push you and it to their limits. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Believe in the power if stupid people. You will have to use all of your strength to resist their call. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Don’t come crying to us when you get your heart broken. We’ve been trying to warn you. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Join with your neighbors in some fun. You need to get to know them anyway. You need to know their weaknesses for when zombies attack. Yes. We are at it with the zombies again. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Understanding will be just out of your grasp today. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Get off the computer and go do some work. Why? Cause we said so.]]]]> ]]>

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