Horoscopes for March 6, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! You should amuse yourself by jumping out and scaring everyone you can. Be prepared for whallups from purses. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) If you can’t beat em’, join em’. We say beat em’ again. Cause if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Eat all of your veggies, there will be a test later. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Flattery can be an effective bargaining tool. Lay it on thickly and hope it sticks to the roof of their mouths. Aries (March 21 – April 19) It’s your turn to do the thing that nobody likes to do so we have to take turns thing. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Dolphins are planning a revolt. Stay away from beaches and marine parks. Silly dolphins, you can’t get us. *Breaking news* You know that walking on their tail think that dolphins do? That works on land too! Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Try to not make waves today. Waves are costly on your precous energy. Settle for ripples, lots and lots of ripples. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Quickly, hide under the bed until we say you can come out. Leo (July 23 – August 22) You will find out an interesting secret about one of your closest friends. The shock will be so bad that you piddle in your pants. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Throw caution to the wind and do that thing you have been talking about doing. You know the one with the bananas and chocolate chips. Libra (September 23 – October 22) It’s that time of year again. The time of year when it is cool to let your freak flag fly with pride. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) The dream you had about Madonna and the leprechaun will become a reoccurring nightmare. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Thought you could outsmart us? We are familiar with your kind and know how to deal with you. That was our easy cheese!]]]]> ]]>