Horoscopes for March 7, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday. Here is where you are expecting some insightful intelligent piece of knowledge. No, we just know how forgetful you are and wanted to remind you that it is your birthday. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Have a coke and a smile. Not at the exact same time, though. You will probably dribble coke all down your face, which would make everyone around you smile. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Don’t do favors for friends today. They just won’t know when to stop. Before you know it you will be as strung out as a crack head at income tax time. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) After rushing around, freaking out, screaming at the kids at the top of your lungs to get up and get ready for school, it will dawn on you. Enjoy Spring Break!!! Aries (March 21 – April 19) Time for spring cleaning. Get rid of all of the trash in your life. We didn’t say that lazy lump sleeping on the couch, that was your thought.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You will be overwhelmed by the thought of potatoes. Or poTAtoes. Or potaTOEs. or POTatoes. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You will serve as a shining example of why you now have to be 18 to buy glue. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) No matter what anybody tells you, those big, red, octagonal signs aren’t there just to be pretty. Did you remember to get uninsured motorists? Leo (July 23 – August 22) Procrastination will be your friend today. Use her wisely. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Once in a blue moon you have a completely brilliant idea. The next blue moon will be August 31, 2012. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You won’t be able to believe anything you read. See what we mean? Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Storm are brewing on the horizon. Have you ever notice that storm clouds always brew on the horizon and never anywhere else? Stay away from the horizon. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Your goals will be just out of reach no matter how fast you run. We think the ice cream truck driver is just messing with you.]]]]> ]]>