Horoscopes for November 7, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!!!  Congratulations, your day will be as bright as a 13 watt light bulb! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Sing us a song tonight, ’cause we’re all in the mood for a melody and you’ve got us feeling alright! Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) What did we tell you about watching The Karate Kid?  We hoped that you learned “Wax On, Wax Off.”  This IS “No-Shave November,” but nobody said anything about waxing. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) The screams you hear from the next room are coming from the Aquarius experimenting with the new hair removal tool they learned about from watching The Karate Kid. Aries (March 21 – April 19) You will go to the polls today to cast your ballot and then realize that you are a day early!  That’s the spirit!!! Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You can’t dazzle them with brilliance, but you can baffle them with…  well… you know the rest! Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Today you will find the answer to the age old question: Why was that guy friends with Jeremiah the Bull-Frog? Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Today, all of your childhood dreams will be crushed. Leo (July 23 – August 22) We know Leo is a lion.  But that is no excuse for lying around all day. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You will be overcome by the overwhelming urge to stand atop your desk and recite the famous monologue from McBeth. Think twice before you do this, your desk is a dangerous place to stand while reciting anything from McBeth. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You have been weighed, measured, and been found wanting. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) This day will be splendiferous. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Be warned, if you decide to confront that guy in accounting, lightning bolts might fly from his desk. You thought we were going to say something else, didn’t you?]]]]> ]]>