Horoscopes for November 9, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!!!  Join the crowd. We all have em at some point. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Believe in the power of the rats…or you WILL be sorry. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) When people are mean to you today. Laugh in their faces. Only you know that you switched their shampoo with Nair. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) When you feel like giving up, go ahead. Don’t be sad by that, you know you don’t honestly do any work anyway. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Feel free to fart in public today. Actually you won’t have a choice, we just thought you would feel better with a little approval. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) How is that new hair piece working out for you? what you thought it wasn’t noticeable? Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Just when you thought it was safe to go out into your yard again… Well, nevermind, you will just have to see this for yourself. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Keep a safe distance from the sink today. Nothing catastrophic will happen. We just don’t want people to think that you will actually wash the dishes or anything. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Why did you think that you could pull that one off? Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Your butt kicking from yesterday is gonna kick your butt today. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You will be the official peace keeper for all of those that are around today. Have fun with that one. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Whatever. We are not buying whatever it is that you are selling today. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Do not open the door. Failure to heed our warning will result in pain. massive amounts of pain!]]]]> ]]>