Horoscopes for October 20, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Tuesday’s gone. Actually, so is Wednesday. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Break away from the Norm. He is just weighing you down. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) The Status is not Quo. It never was, you were just duped into believing it was. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Take some medicine for your tummy; or else, have a musical afternoon. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Lower your expectations. No, really lower them. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You have two choices: Dazzle them with brilliance; or the choice you usually pick: Baffle them with bullshit. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Join us in giving a salute to cheese. You will or we will leave you a nasty surprise when you least expect it. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) HURRY!!! Leo (July 23 – August 22) Our number one suggestion for today is: be a forgiving soul. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Keep reaching for the stars. Until the sun blinds you at least. Libra (September 23 – October 22) If your friend starts any story with: “This is what had happened”, you should run not walk in the opposite direction. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Rain will ruin your beautiful hair today, so don’t bother even trying. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) It could be worse. No clarification was given to us. This is probably a bad sign.]]]]> ]]>