Horoscopes for October 8, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Avoid the cake. Bob licked it. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Don’t spend the entire day inside feeling sorry for yourself. Get outside and experience life. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Keep your feeling close to the vest. You will be mocked and ridiculed for being a sissy. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) When people finally realize that you are not really real, you are in for some big trouble. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Have a hanky ready. Some cutie will need one and you will get lost of brownie points. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Camping is a really over looked past time. Keep telling yourself that when you end up outside, in the dog house. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) make the sound of a dieing moose. It will attract your true soul mate. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Nobody wants to hear your whining and complaining. Suck it up and act like a man. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Lean on your best friend today, that is what she’s there for. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Just pray. That is the only thing that will do any good today. Libra (September 23 – October 22) New running shoes will be in order after that German Shepherd runs the soles off your current ones. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Flee! Sorry, we meant flea. False alarm. You can come back now. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Puff out your chest. It will make you look larger and more impressive.]]]]> ]]>