Horoscopes for October 9, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Rarw! Scared you didn’t it? Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Yay! Extra weekend! Don’t waste it doing something dumb. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Keep your eyes on the prize. Like a donkey chasing a carrot on a string. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) When the you know what hits the proverbial fan, you will be within firing range. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Grow a mustache. It will make you hip and cool. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You rivals will throw roses at your feet. The thorns will hurt, but you must be brave and not show fear. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Blame Canada. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Dust yourself off and get back up on that horse. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Open your mind to new and strange experiences. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Unite yourself with like minded people today. Do not underestimate the power of idiots in large groups. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Put the can opener down and nobody will get hurt. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Keep on keeping on and on and on and on. Enjoy the monotony. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) We are so sorry.]]]]> ]]>