Just Plain Fun
Horoscopes for October 9, 2011
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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! The enemies of your enemy are also your enemies. There are things that you can control and things that you cannot. Control the enemies and you can control how big your slice of birthday cake is. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Get a haircut and get a real job… on Tuesday. Monday’s a holiday. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) A cat has nine lives. You have one. The cat just lost one. Be careful. You might be next. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) When you read this it will already be too late, so what does it matter. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Throw a shin-dig. Invite your friend. Notice that we did not put an s at the end of friend. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Plant tulips. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You can see, hear, smell and feel. You have no taste, which is obvious to everyone else. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Grab your bootstraps and be prepared to lift repeatedly. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Take an extra pair of underwear with you today. You will need them. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Collecting may be your forte’ but what you collect seems to disturb most people. Libra (September 23 – October 22) The familiar pitter patter of those four paws will soon turn into the frightening sound of twenty-four paws when your cat, who you thought was just getting fat, gives birth. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You need to protect yourself. There is an army of mosquitoes that have been informed that you have the tastiest blood of anyone on the planet and they are beginning to show up around your home. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You are not the one.]]]]> ]]>
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