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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for September 29, 2011




If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Gone are the days when you didn’t have to worry about gray hairs.  Long gone… now you’re gonna worry about where those hairs are going. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) You should think about taking a class or something.  It would prepare you for that “fluid” job market you’ve been hearing about on TV. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) You will find the end of the rainbow today, but be forewarned –  all that is there is a drunken leprechaun named Seamus who smells like he hasn’t had a bath in a century.  There is no pot of gold. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Keep justifying your actions.  Sooner or later you might actually believe yourself Aries (March 21 – April 19) A guy named Stan will contact you today.   That’s it.  We gots nothing else.  Just Stan. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) There is a horrendous accident involving a pogo stick in your near future. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Check yourself before your wreck yourself. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) You have always thought of yourself as a shot-caller, but today you will wind up being the shot-taker… and we’re not talking about the strong libation that comes in a one ounce glass – though that may be the perfect end to your day! Leo (July 23 – August 22) SomeJuan would like to apologize for the comments from yesterday.  We realize that it might have made you uncomfortable.  By the way.  Today will go splendidly… for someone else. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) That ear-ringing will re-occur today.  This time, you should get it checked out.  There’s no drop in pressure scheduled for today.   At least that what the Bundergaufden Barometric Bureau told us. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You will spend much time contemplate why your sign is marked with a scale when there is nothing in your life that is in balance. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You will actually slip on a banana peel today.  While you are unconscious, you will dream of being ridiculed by Simon Cowell.  When you wake up, you will think back to the dream and realize that it mimicked your real life. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) People laugh at you… which would be great if you were a comedian, but you’re not.]]]]> ]]>

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