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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for September 4, 2011




If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Have your cake and eat it, too.  Luckily, you won’t lose your head like Marie Antoinette did.  You’ll just suffer from the extra pounds.  Maybe it’s time you joined a gym. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) You will be surrounded by people today.  Don’t get too excited.  Your newfound popularity will soon fade as the people get over the novelty of being able to hear the ocean when they’re near you. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) You’ve never been outspoken.  Nobody’s ever been able to accomplish that astronomical feat. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Someone’s figured out that your peaceful hippie ways are just a cover for your lack of ethics!  You should really be concerned for your safety. Aries (March 21 – April 19) A bus could hit you today.  If it doesn’t happen today then keep an eye out for the bus tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Mama Jina wants to tell you about your future, but Papa Jorge told her that you were too easy to scare so Mama just wants us to tell you that she hopes that you actually make it through the day without too many emotional scars.  Papa Jorge says that he doesn’t think that you have emotions so that shouldn’t be a problem. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Most people think that you are annoying.  If you knew this already, then good for you.  You already know that you will be spending a large amount of time completely and totally alone.  If you didn’t know this, then you do now. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) There is an old saying that “loose lips sink ships”.  What does this have to do with you?  – Nothing! Do you have to be the center of the universe all of the time? Leo (July 23 – August 22) Keep telling yourself that the goofy outfit you are wearing will come back in style.  However, go buy a new outfit before you join the rest of us in the real world. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Something about you seems a little bit fishy today.  Maybe it smells fishy but Papa Jorge’s sniffer doesn’t work too good. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Jars of mayonnaise will fall on top of you when you are at the store.  We suggest staying off that aisle. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Look, there comes a time when everyone has to fend for themselves.  It’s called growing up.  Don’t you think it’s WAY past time for you to do that? Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You should look at your face in the mirror.   Take a really hard look at it.  Now you know why people don’t make eye contact with you.]]]]> ]]>

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