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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for September 9, 2011




If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   You should keep a kleenex nearby.  This birthday will get to you when you least expect it and you’ll need the tissue to wipe away the tears.  Take our advice… age ain’t nothing but a number.  Heck… when one of us makes it to 7, we throw a fiesta!!! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) All the time you spent on hold yesterday was for naught.  You got no results.  Today, start asking for a supervisor right off the bat.  This will put the operator on notice that you are not a person to be messed with and that you will demand great service.   You won’t get it, but you’ll feel better being forceful. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Plan ahead.  Take an umbrella.  We know that rain is not in the forecast, but like we said… you’re planning ahead…. way ahead. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Pounce on that deal at the supermarket.  You never know when you’re gonna need more Worcestershire sauce! Aries (March 21 – April 19) Maybe it’s time you thought about making a will.  If you have one, maybe you should update that.  We’re not saying anything bad is going to happen… what we see is often interpreted differently, but we felt we should at least pass you this piece of advice. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) The Rings of Saturn are in your sign today.  This probably means that you’re gonna spend the day running around in circles. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Everyone will know that you sniff markers when you show up to work with orange nostrils. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Today would be a really good day to do nothing.  It’s Friday, it’s nice outside… Call in…  the rest will be well worth it… plus you did all that non-restful crap on Labor Day and feel exhausted after this week.  Have a great day! Leo (July 23 – August 22) Playing the flute does not count as rock & roll, no matter how many Jethro Tull references you make. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Pregnant roaches have invaded the walls of your bathroom.  Soon, there will be thousands of little roaches roaming your home.  It’s gonna be like that movie Joe’s Apartment.  Maybe it’s time for that remodel you’ve been putting off. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Cram as much work as you can into the day.  Work will keep your mind otherwise occupied and you’re gonna need that after the phone conversation you have near lunchtime. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) If you went searching for that key, you should be aware that we were talking about the third rock FROM the waterfall….  And now for today’s horoscope… Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Today is a good day to go talk to Stuart over at Anytime Fitness about your sagging and jiggly parts that aren’t supposed to be sagging or jiggly.  Take our advice…  Don’t talk about the game last night!!!]]]]> ]]>

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